But is that really true, or do we have a choice when it comes to falling in love?
That depends a bit upon your of definition choice. We make connections with people all the time — people who we find interesting, attractive, and with whom we have a lot in common.
But, occasionally there is a person that we are more drawn to than anyone else. There are undoubtedly specific attributes that person possesses that makes him or her more appealing to you than others are.
It is also true, however, that when falling in love you are in a unique position within your own life to allow this to happen. The combination of timing, compatibility, attraction, and your choice to be open to love makes this all possible.
Being in that position is a choice you make, even if it is an unconscious one. You have to be open and vulnerable enough for those feelings to initiate and grow. Consider newly married couples.
They are at the start of what they hope will be a life-long commitment. As human beings they are able to see others around them and recognize attraction, common interests, and enjoyment of people other than their spouse.
They made a choice to be with the person they married and find happiness and satisfaction with him or her. No matter how intriguing another person is, they are not likely to fall in love with them.
There is also a difference between falling in love and staying in love. Falling is the easy part.
Eventually, however, that new relationship high wears off and now you have to make the choice to keep the love alive. People in successful, long-term relationships recognize that choice What is falling in love make the effort to reinforce their connection to each other and the feelings of love and appreciation that are needed to keep their relationship strong. When that choice is not actively made, and it feels like the love is gonethen they become vulnerable to developing feelings for someone else.
Remember, choosing not to make a choice is a choice in and of itself.
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At some point in a relationship you have to choose to do the work to make things work. So is falling in love a choice? And staying in love is as well.
Although portions of the love experience feel mysterious and out of our control, on some level you make a choice at each What is falling in love. Whether you have chosen to be emotionally available for a connection to someone else, or you have chosen to maintain the love you created, in the end you have made a choice.
As an expert in understanding men, their partners, and the unique relationship challenges couples face today, he regularly appears on The Huffington Post, NerdWallet and PsychCentral.
Kurt is a lover of dogs, sarcasm, everything outdoors, and helping those seeking to make their lives and relationships better. Check out his weekly tips on Facebook or Twitter.
Find help or get online counseling now. By Kurt Smith, Psy.
The answer to that is most likely you. Is Falling in Love a Choice?
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